After Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa, is it time to make misogyny a hate crime?
Would making misogyny a hate crime stop violence against women in the UK?
It's been six months since 33-year-old Sarah Everard disappeared on her walk home.
Recently, Wayne Couzens, a serving police officer with the Metropolitan Police, was found guilty of her kidnap, rape and murder and sentenced to a whole life order, meaning he will never be released and will die in prison.
Sarah Everard's murder at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect her has been something I've been unable to stop thinking about. Walking her route home at 9:30PM, in bright clothes, by taking main roads and having just called her boyfriend, Sarah Everard did everything she was "meant to do" – All she was trying to do was get home safely, before she was abducted in the street under the guise of a 'false arrest'.
Sarah Everard represents that women's fears over their safety have always been legitimate and valid. We can do everything we are supposed to do and still get murdered, because the problem isn't us.
Wayne Couzens is not just "someone who slipped through the system", he knew exactly what he was doing. Three days before the murder, he was caught on CCTV flashing a drive-thru McDonalds worker. Adding to this, recent reports have also extensively detailed how Couzens was nicknamed "The Rapist" by colleagues because he made female colleagues so uncomfortable. Why did this behaviour remain unchecked? In any other scenario or establishment, if someone was nicknamed "the rapist" they'd be immediately investigated, sacked and challenged. Instead, a woman who had her whole life ahead of her, is dead.
Last week, it also emerged that no less than twenty-six of his colleagues have committed sex crimes in the past 5 years. As I write this, another serving Metropolitan Police officer has just been charged with rape, a reminder that predatory men walk amongst us, some hidden in plain sight, others masquerading as our protectors. Wayne Couzens is not "one bad apple" as people would like to think, he is the product of a rotten system that needs restructuring.
Violence against women isn't limited to this incident, it's systemic. According to Femicide Census, a woman is murdered by a man every three days across the UK.
Sabina Nessa, was a 28-year-old woman who was taking a short walk to meet friends when she was murdered in what is thought to be a 'random' attack. A 36-year-old man has since been charged with her murder. Sabina's murder is something I also struggled to absorb. As a fellow South Asian woman, was it because her graduation picture looks just like mine, hanging on the living room wall? Is it because we know as minority women, we stand a chance of not making the main headlines if we were killed? Is it because she was taking a short, five-minute-walk on a route that was familiar to her? It's because the reality is, Sabina Nessa could have been any one of us.
There are arguments for misogyny to be recognised as a hate crime in the UK. On the outset, this would be seen as a step in the right direction and would ensure the courts treat it more seriously, but extending the powers of the police really isn't the solution here. Ultimately, making misogyny a hate crime will not stop male violence against women when it's also institutional. Giving more power to an institution that arguably has a problem with misogyny and sexism isn't the answer, not unless this system is reformed first and there is a robust, criminal justice system in place, instead of one that is barely fit for purpose.
September was a heavy month for women in the UK. We are reminded that no matter what we do and no matter how many precautions we take, it still might not be enough.
We send our locations to our friends whenever we go anywhere new or go on a date.
We tell our friends "text me when you get home" and stay awake until we hear from them.
We learn self-defence and hold our keys in our fists when we walk alone.
We purposely take the main roads which are well lit and have street-lamps.
We take our headphones out to hear footsteps that are getting too close.
We lock our doors when we drive our cars alone.
We watch our drinks and never leave them unattended.
We try our best not to go out at night, unless we have to.
Every woman you know has tried their best, knowing that it still might not be enough.
For every woman you know, keeping safe is a continuous burden. The list is endless and exhausting. The problem is not our actions, it's not what we wear, how we act or what we do. It's not what we do or don't do to "keep safe'" the problem is solely male violence and until we treat this as the epidemic it is and challenge misogyny in all its forms, we will keep seeing another name in the headlines.
Yes, we know that it's "not all men" - but it's still too many. Until we have widespread education on what produces and upholds misogyny and toxic masculinity, we won't see any real change.
Sarah Everard did everything 'right', she was just walking home. Sabina Nessa did everything 'right', she was just walking to see a friend.
Women should be able to walk anywhere they want, without the fear of being murdered - without the fear that they might not make it home.
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The best lifestyle YouTubers I follow that you've never heard of
There are so many YouTubers out there that gain little to no exposure for their amazing content. Here are some of my favorites that deserve more shine.
If I'm not engrossed in a collection of poetry, fiction novels, or taking a walk through my neighborhood, one of my favorite pastimes is to log onto YouTube to watch some beauty, music, and the occasional celebrity gossip content. Even though I enjoy all of these particular categories, lately, lifestyle vlogs have been piquing my interest. The thing about lifestyle vlogs is that there are no general themes or bounds to the content produced.
Usually, I find that they tend to create a day in the life, advice, or candid conversations about what is on their mind. It's almost identical to being right beside them, hearing them recount their stories.
Many of us know that YouTube is densely populated with notable influencers such as Patricia Bright and Jackie Aina to name a couple. Yet, the popularity of these YouTubers propelled further up in the top ranks of the algorithm, causing other YouTubers with great content and a small following to gain little to no exposure for creating something genuine and relatable to everyday life.
Without further adieu, below is a brief list of lifestyle YouTubers that deserve more shine.
Nagad Halane
work day in the life of a young black candle maker www.youtube.com
If you want a taste of the wholesome things in life, she's the person for you. The Canadian vlogger chronicles her life with montages of the off-the-grid home she shares with her boyfriend, her life as the owner of an intention candle Etsy store, her experiences growing up in a Somali home,and the complications that arose from her desire to leave Islam. She also has a book titled Who You Are, the journey to remembering, an inspirational guide to understand your soul in your own personal journey, and a podcast called A Spoonful of Consciousness. She discusses birth charts, astrology, and self-worth.
Paige Nelson (a.k.a. Love Your Natural)
Girl Talk : What We All Can GAIN from Self - QUARANTINE | (( MUST WATCH)) www.youtube.com
As soon as you click on a video, you automatically get the sense that you're talking with a close friend or sister ( she addresses her subscribers as "best friends"). Paige discusses everything from inexpensive makeup, fashion, and self-care hacks to relevant and relatable dating advice when navigating today's social climate. Even though she has accrued over 800,000 subscribers to her channel, most are still unfamiliar with her. Fun fact: she is also a talented rapper that goes by the stage name Bella Barz.
How To Get Your Confidence Back!! & Boost Your Self Esteem Sis ! | ((Highly Requested)) | www.youtube.com
Mary Jane Byarm
What I Wish I Knew Before I Started Traveling SOLO www.youtube.com
Mary Jane is probably one of the most interesting people that I've ever stumbled across on YouTube. The New Jersey native set a goal to travel all over the world and succeeded. She's traveled to over 100 countries, beautifully documenting the culture, food, best landmarks to visit, and stories about some of her wildest experiences traveling the globe. Ultimately, her travel vlogs allow you to live vicariously through her with her captivating cinematography.
After Visiting 100 Countries.. These are the Ones I DIDNT like www.youtube.com
Kelly Stamps
the truth about being a youtuber. www.youtube.com
Kelly Stamps is a witty 20-something-year-old who discusses minimalism, fashion, finances, and experiences as a YouTuber ( her following has grown to over 300,00 subscribers). She also doesn't skip a beat discussing the riveting hot mess of dating and dealing with unruly people we all have experienced at least once.
frugal living in NYC (with expensive energy) www.youtube.com
Who are some of your favorite YouTubers that deserve more recognition?