Start writing a post

Why I need time away from my kids

There hasn't been much opportunity for child-free time this past year, but its so needed

Me and Conrad mooching about an empty golf course in the first lockdown

There are many parents out there that don't need a break from their children. I am not one of those parents. This weekend I'm having an overnight stay without the kids, and I can't bloody wait.

I need this time to miss them. I love the feeling of being excited to see them again and there hasn't been much opportunity for that this past year. I need this time to sit in silence and read, or eat a meal at a normal pace instead of devouring it like a rabid wolf. It may be paradoxical but I need time away from my kids to remind myself how much I love them. I need this time to enjoy luxuries like having a wee in private (because I usually get a little person following me into the bathroom for a chat). I need this time to wear earrings without the fear of tiny hands yanking them off my head, and to wear make up, and put on clothes that aren't pyjamas. Most of all I need this break to spend time with my husband without our little entourage, because I like hanging out with him but we are often distracted in the day, and after the kid's bedtime - exhausted. During the pandemic we have spent a lot of time together, but its not quality time - just vast amounts of quarantine Netflix. We need this break to remind ourselves that we are a couple as well as parents; that we are Lauren and Conrad, as well as Mama and Dada.

What to do when your child asks if you believe in God

What to do when your child asks if you believe in God conversations.indy100.com


Kids can blindside you with big questions - we should be honest

Perhaps the time has come to re-evaluate how we portray OCD in films and TV series.

The problem is that there is a finite amount of time in a weekend or overnight break and you can't possibly do all the things you'd like to. You can't have a lie in and also get up early to make the most of your child free time. You have to pick one. You can't have a dignified, romantic, low key meal with your spouse followed by an early night, and also get horrendously, fall-asleep-in-the-taxi-home drunk all in one night. You have to pick a lane. My lane often includes tequilas, and in the morning; the dreaded hangover and Mezcal-induced regret.

Inevitably, we end up talking about the kids a lot. I find myself on a walk saying wistfully "ah the boys would love it here" (they wouldn't), or spotting something on a menu and saying "oh they'd want to order that for pudding wouldn't they, the little rascals". I always ask my Mum for updates too often and she exasperatedly tells me to stop messaging and just enjoy myself. I always want to see pictures within the first hour apart from them, and I know that at their bedtime I'll be looking at my watch and wondering if they're asleep yet.

Parenting mistakes are inevitable

Parenting mistakes are inevitable conversations.indy100.com


A collection of my parenting mishaps.

Although I do miss them when we're away, this time is precious because its a reset. A chance to relax and drink wine and be a grown-up and spend 24 hours without pretending to be a Paw Patrol cast member, or Spiderman, or Poison Ivy (unless your partner is into that). Mainly it's a chance to have a break from the aspect of parenting that is hard work. Because although they are wonderful, it is hard work, and it is tiring. If you are lucky enough to have a chance for a break, as I am (thanks Mum!), then take it. When you come back you'll be refreshed, possibly hungover, possibly not - but always radiantly happy to see your little terrors again.

How our mothers' lessons shaped us into the people we are today

We need mom's message to get through.


Eeva Rehnström, in her graduation cap. Four years later, she became my mother. (1931-2012)

Photo courtesy of Dr.Jaana Rehnström, the Founder of The Kota Alliance
https://twitter.com/TheKotaAlliance
https://www.facebook.com/TheKotaAlliance
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kota-alliance-102174129/
https://www.instagram.com/kota_alliance/

A special bond exists, in all cultures, between mothers and their children. Fathers are important as well, of course, but due to the very early bonding arising from feeding and nurturing, a child's emotional life is strongly affected by the mother.

Nine years after my own mother passed away at 81-years-old, I think about the role mothers play in developing our sense of right and wrong. Sometimes all it takes is a response to an innocent question.

Keep reading... Show less

A Parent's Hangover Survival Guide

Surviving a hangover with small children can be tough - here's my guide to getting through it

This bank holiday weekend I got a bit over excited about being able to see people in real life and had way too many margaritas. And I paid for it the next day. Hangover days BC (before children) involved lots of sleep and only emerging from the bed or sofa to answer the door to pizza.

Ah, those were the days. When you have small children, hangovers require a different strategy; here's my advice on how to survive a hangover when you have kids.

Keep reading... Show less
#StartTheConversation by joining us on
x

Join our new platform for free and your post can reach a huge audience on Indy100 and The Independent join