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There are so many things I should've learned about self-love

Brick Wall with a Heart
heart-shaped red and beige pendant

People often say that this year —given the course of events—is the year of realization and transformation. This revelation is true to my life in so many ways that I've started to dive deeper into the world of self-love and what it means to transform myself for the better.

According to an article in Psychology Today, self-love is described as "an umbrella term to host many different acts of love we perform towards ourselves both physically and non-physically." Our understanding of self-love is often cultivated during childhood from those who cared for us. In other cases, self-love is taught on the unconscious level; we caught glimpses from observing those that raised us.

In my formative years of life, the aspect of self-love was not discussed. The primary conversations that I was a part of were that of "you must have respect for your elders" and "you're too young to have an opinion because it can come off as rude, and that's that." Within this conditioning, I did learn to respect people. Still, I also understood that I never learned to identify or express what I loved about myself in a comfortable way.

The exact moment in time that brought this idea to the forefront was around last year when I was viciously talked down to by a superior. Without getting into the specifics, let's just say that what was said really insulted me as it was downright inappropriate for a workplace, and quite frankly, a bruise to my ego in terms of a solid work ethic. Despite this, I somehow managed to keep a smile on my face, handling it as a "respect your elders moment" and "it's not a big deal." I neglected to embrace my voice in the situation (and in many similar instances )—the courage to use my voice to stand up for myself, know my worth, and genuinely love myself regardless of others' assumptions.

Here are some of the ways that helped me realign and begin to love:

Accepting your emotional state

As human beings, it's okay not to be happy all the time. The key here, though, is to acknowledge that you will have highs and lows; address it within yourself instead of diminishing your feelings.

Recognizing that even though your career is essential, it doesn't define you

Like many of my peers, I grew up with the sense that to succeed in this life meant overworking yourself. I had to study and work hard to obtain an ideal job, status, and sense of respect. Having these things is not an issue as education and money are essential for survival, but we must not lose sight of the simple comforts in life. We live in a capitalistic society, so we tend to neglect those other aspects of life that need to be tended to.

Get up, get moving, and start doing things that you love in your free time!

Forgiving yourself

To forgive yourself means to embrace self-compassion. We are not perfect and make mistakes, big or small. Even though this can seem like the earth is shattering all around you, chances are it's not as bad as you think. Things happen all the time, and life carries on. When embracing self-compassion, it allows you to reflect on your actions and past events with a kind heart and empathy, making it easier to forgive yourself. Holding a grudge against yourself is not only counterproductive. It's damaging to your well-being.

Although these few tips have been a great help to me on my journey, there are still so many things that I need to discover within myself to free my mind of the doubts that I succumb to at times.

I hope that no matter who and where you are on the journey that you find unconditional peace and love within yourself.

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.