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How the pandemic has made me a better parent

March 19, 2021
Giving the toys a much needed bubble bath
Photo credit: Lauren Nolan
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This week marked a whole year since restrictions due to Covid-19 came into effect in the UK. During this time, my family has been through three lockdowns, multiple periods of self-isolation, and my own experience with Covid-19. Through all the worries, illness, uncertainty and challenges, the pandemic has changed the way I parent. And it might be a change for the better.

I used to believe I had to take the boys out every day for some activity or class because I claimed that they would climb the walls and destroy our house if they didn't go out. Or constantly demanding snacks. When the restrictions started, the boys were three and one, and both of them full of energy from the moment they woke up.

The idea of having to stay in with them in the house all day filled me with dread because I didn't think I could fill our day staying home. It turns out we can stay home and be happy and have fun. I just needed to put some thought into what we were going to do.

So I turned to a few books and the internet for inspiration and found some great stuff out there. Some of the activities the boys weren't as keen on if it involved sitting still. It was doomed to fail. Still, we found some amazing games and play ideas that I'd have never stumbled across if I hadn't been anxiously googling what to do with my two small rascals.

We built dens. We played with slime. We drew with chalk on the patio. We gave their toys a bubble bath. I made treasure hunts. We bought a big bottle of cola and some mentos for a "science experiment." We played with flour on the floor, and we tried to make our own playdough from corn flour.

Am I alone in feeling parenting guilt in a pandemic?conversations.indy100.com

I may have done a few bits with them pre-pandemic, but since we've had to stay home, my mind bank of "stuff to do with the kids" has grown considerably. I'm a bit ashamed that I ever thought staying home with my kids would be that unbearable. Sure, it is tough at times.

Frank is so sick of walks the mention of the 'w' word has him kicking off, and there has been way, way too much time on screens. Some days I woke up and saw the day stretching before me like a mountain to climb and despaired. But it was fine. It is fine, really, isn't it?

Spending uninterrupted time with my kids while they are small and hilarious and annoying isn't the worst thing ever. I just needed to step up my parenting game a bit, be more prepared, be more inventive (or, more accurately, be better at stealing other parent's ideas). I'm a better parent for this.

It's become a cliché now, but the pandemic has also made me grateful for a lot about my life. I'm thankful for my garden, family, health, and a million other things I had never truly appreciated before. On some level, this reassessing of what is important has made me a better parent; the things I used to stress about seem so trivial now, and I can focus on the bigger picture a lot easier.

The thing I'm most looking forward to once it's safe is my kids playing with their cousins, ideally in the sunshine with a picnic. I would have never considered the ability to spend time with family to be a luxury. Now these moments, hopefully in the near future, will be instilled with extra significance.

We're closer as a family because of the sheer amount of time we've spent together. The boys are much closer, having been each other's only playmates, and while they still like to wrestle, and sharing is sometimes a challenge, there's a real friendship there now. William, in particular, who has grown up so much in a year, did that growing with his brother around a lot.

My husband, working from home and having the boys around all the time, has spent so much more time with them (and me!) than he would have. I know he sees this extra time spent with his boys as a gift.

I miss my extended family, and I miss my friends, but we've had lots of lovely times. Without the pressure to go out, do things, and see people, we've had our own bubble, and mostly it's been great. And I feel fortunate to have had that time with them. Sometimes I wish I could have a wee in private, and I am so looking forward to dropping them off at my mum's for some child-free time. They also make me laugh every day, and it's all going by so fast.

This year has been an extraordinarily awful time for the world, but I'm ultimately a better parent in my little corner down in Dorset, and maybe even a better person.

Have you got something to say? Want to share your thoughts and experiences with the world? Submit a post to Conversations today.


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Can tech help female entrepreneurs break the bias?

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.