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Parenting mistakes are inevitable - here are some of mine you can avoid

April 05, 2021
The boys making a mess as usual
Indy100-Conversations
and
Lauren_Nolan

They say being a parent doesn't come with a handbook, but that's not strictly true - there are hundreds out there.

Despite devouring several of them over the years, I have made some errors in judgement that I'd like to share with you so that maybe you can learn from my mistakes.

I was struggling to get our three-year-old to wear sun-cream; it was basically like wrestling a crocodile, and since it was summer I was doing this multiple times daily and getting increasingly fed up. So I explained to him about sun burn and why sun cream is important. He asked to see pictures, so I said – of course! I did a image search for "sun burnt children" and showed him some pretty terrible pictures of kids with burns. It worked… a little too well. He started asking for sun cream on rainy days. He started requested sun-cream inside. He asked for sun-cream at bedtime. I never had to wrestle him again, but I'm pretty sure I traumatised him in the process.

Our first (and only) holiday abroad with a child I packed so much stuff we had to pay an exorbitant amount in overweight luggage fees and we barely used any of it. Our six-month-old lived in a little vest the whole holiday, I was breastfeeding; ultimately we barely needed to bring a thing. And yet we did – we brought all of the things. We weighed the plane down with the things we had brought. Here's a great tip – other countries have children too. It's actually very unlikely you'll encounter a situation where you can't access what you need in a pinch.

The first time I ever went swimming with my first born I put him in these tiny little trunks, no top at all, and every single one of the other babies were in full thermal wet suits. He started shivering of course, and much to my shame and embarrassment we had to cut the lesson short. And then once we'd got out I got him completely dry, warm and dressed and he started crying, so I picked him up for a cuddle in my sopping wet swimming costume. He was instantly damp, and I didn't have a spare baby-grow. I'd also packed shampoo, hair conditioner and shower gel, like I used to for swimming in the before-baby times. When did I think I'd be showering and washing my hair?! I didn't seem to factor the baby into that scenario at all.

How to deal with toddlers' emerging personalitiesconversations.indy100.com

Another big mistake I would like to warn you against is being hungover at a kid's party. The level of noise and chaos is a lot to handle at the best of times, throw in a monster hangover and you are in for a rough day. Especially if the party is at a soft play. Especially if you don't know anyone well enough to confide in and watch your child while you sit in the corner for a bit with a strong coffee. There is something about the gaudy, bright, sweaty, germ-ridden stench of a soft play that can tip you over the edge. Avoid this mistake at all costs, trust me.

Some parenting mistakes are really common like running out of wipes or nappies or snacks. Hitting your child's head getting them in the car seat is one we have all done, and if you say you haven't; you're lying. Nappy changing disasters is a right of passage. Forgetting the pram, forgetting a towel, forgetting the potty, forgetting your purse, forgetting how to talk to adults. Its a steep learning curve and one I imagine continues; my kids are four and two and I'm sure I have a lot of mistakes to come. But as my very wise sister-in-law noted; if you're worried about mistakes, and learning from them, and laughing about them – you're doing alright. We muddle through the best we can and try not to mess the kids up too much in the process.

And trust me on the soft play hangovers.

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Can tech help female entrepreneurs break the bias?

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.