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As a man, it’s always okay to vent about your mental health issues

Photo by Freddie Cocker
Photo by Freddie Cocker

If you were asked to define the behaviours, qualities, or emotions that make up a man, what would you say? Would it be aggression and anger? Would it be bravado and ignorance? Would you disassociate any form of emotion from a stereotypical man?

Generally, do the men in your life speak openly about their emotions or feelings? When men you know are together, what do they talk about? Is it hardships going on in their life, sport, their respective jobs, and the opposite sex (or the same sex, if applicable)?

Men's reluctance to open up and show vulnerability has been the subject of countless debates over the last two decades.

Is it the fear of showing emotion outside of what is considered the norm that they will be made fun of, mocked, or even ostracised? Will their masculinity be questioned, labeled 'soft,' a 'p***y', or have homophobic abuse chucked at them?

These limited archetypes of how a man can or should behave, and the pressures men feel to adhere to them contributes to the mental health crisis men are going through.

In the UK, suicide is the main cause of death for men aged 20-49. In September 2017, I decided to do something about it when I started Vent. Vent is a place where everyone (especially men and boys) has the opportunity to open up about their mental health issues, break down stigmas, and start conversations.

I started Vent for two reasons.For one, I saw a paucity of platforms out there where men could express emotion outside traditional expectations, show vulnerability, and have a safe space to be their true selves away from the fear of judgment or exclusion. Women's mental health has always been treated seriously and with compassion (and rightly so), so why wasn't that the case for men? Secondly, through my own lived experience of mental health, I wanted to make a change and help men like me who were struggling.

I live with diagnosed anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from being bullied in school for a decade. In that time, I also went through a severe bout of depression, several attempts to take my own life, and was sexually assaulted by my primary school bully on one occasion.

After I escaped this nightmare, I struggled to accept and address the trauma I had gone through, and such was the level of stigma and shame I felt right the way through sixth-form, university, and adult life.

It was when I was in university that the mental health issues that I had bottled up for so many years out of shame came to the surface.

I began to self-harm (not the stereotypical way) through over-eating and excessive drinking in my second-year before having the thought again about taking my own life at the start of my final year.

I came very close to taking my own life on one evening before having a psychotic episode the next day in the middle of a seminar when I began to hear voices coming from a painting on the wall telling me to take my own life.

I was taken to the university medical centre by a close friend who was in that class and was put on eight weeks of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Since then, I had many ups and downs, including more therapy, but I have never looked back.

When I started Vent, I came out about my own mental health issues, built a community of authors who have written publicly and anonymously, created a podcast, a music night in my home-town, and lots of exciting plans to come.

As it's always been, my main goal is to help as many people as possible feel comfortable and safe in opening up about their mental health or mental health issues, including myself.

If you know someone in your life, male or female, who may be struggling with their mental health, help them, support them, and let them know that it's always okay to vent.

Freddie Cocker is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of Vent.

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If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, The Samaritans offers support; you can speak to someone for free over the phone, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), 1-800 273 8255 in the USA, email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.

For services local to you, the national mental health database- Hub of Hope - allows you to enter your postcode to search for organisations and charities who offer mental health advice and support in your area.

If you are based in the US, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.