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The best ways to show people closest to you that they are heard and appreciated

July 30, 2021

Strong relationships necessitate open lines of communication

Photo by Junior REIS on Unsplash

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Breanna Robinson

Strong relationships rely onl open lines of communication. Being a better communicator may appear daunting, but it's actually only a matter of honing a crucial skill: listening.

It appears to be straightforward. We (mostly) listen to our loved one's queries, opinions, anecdotes, gripes, and helpful suggestions. But how frequently do we actually pay attention?

We often register that they're chatting on the surface, waiting for our time to jump in and say what we want. Something has to be done about it.

Everyone that is close to us wants to be heard in their relationship. It's for a good reason, too.

Answering a simple question about improving communication with close ones is the first step toward improving listening abilities.

As a result, I wanted to find a way to really show the people closest to me that I am present and willing to take in everything that's on their minds because I do care.

In doing so, I scoured the internet to find a perspective into this and came across a Psychology Today article written by Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr that delved into five ways to help a loved one feel like they matter—and it was beyond easy.

Read on to get more insight into the ways that have helped me express my appreciation for others effectively.

Dont assume you understand what's going on with your loved one

How frequently do you completely understand what your loved one says to you? Probably not as frequently as you believe. That is insufficient.

If your partner explains themselves, expresses their feelings, or tells you anything significant, they deserve to be completely understood. There will be no blunders, fuzziness, or misconceptions.

You can't solely rely on assumptions to get it correctly.

Here's what you can ask instead:

"What exactly did you mean by— ?"
"Am I accurate in saying that is the most important issue?"
"Could you provide an example of —?"

Reflect on the feelings your loved one is conveying

This leans into empathy. To develop empathy, you must recognize that behind everything your loved one says is an emotion they hope we will pick up on.

Sometimes it's very clear (for example, "I feel absolutely neglected around here.") Other times, it's not evident at all, such as when your loved one simply sighs loudly or says, "I'm exhausted."

When anything is uncertain, don't overlook it. Instead, make an attempt to find it out. Investigate deeper feelings and identify them as precisely as possible.

For example, if your loved one had a long day, instead of saying "Oh, that sounds really bad" say, "You work so hard, the stress was the last thing you needed."

At the end of the day, it is also OK to be incorrect. Even if you're incorrect, your loved one sees that you're trying, which allows them to elaborate.

Listen and be present

Being a better listener isn't only about what you say; it's also about how you appear. Even though time might be spent worrying about what to say, you should also pay attention to your nonverbal communication.

These are any actions you take that transmit messages to your spouse that go beyond the words you employ.

Here are some ways to have better body language.

Remain open ( i.e. don't cross your arms across your chest).
Lean in close to them.
Continue to make eye contact (don't look at your phone, television, or other devices).

Ask open-ended questions that prompt more than a 'yes' or 'no'

Most of the time, you aren't really interested in what other people are saying. Your loved one, on the other hand, isn't just anyone. Allow them to take center stage to show them that you care.

Not only that, but do everything you can to encourage them to communicate about their feelings and thoughts.

Asking open-ended inquiries will indicate to your loved one that you want to hear more. But not just any questions will suffice.

Simple yes/no questions, as well as those that focus on who, what, when, and where facts, should be avoided (though getting those right is an important part of the clarify step). Instead, ask questions that need more thought.

The following are some excellent choices:

"How did you get to that decision?"
"How do you see this situation concluding?"
"How did you come to this conclusion?"
"What would you advise me to do if I were in a similar situation?

Really understand what your loved one is saying by paraphrasing

Making it plain to your loved one that you "understand it" is an important element of listening. To do so, you should summarize what is said to you in your own words.

This should not become a word-for-word dictionary challenge, but rather a brief synopsis. That is difficult, but your efforts are worthwhile because paraphrasing demonstrates that you care and are fully invested.

To truly understand and repeat what your loved one is saying, you must pay close attention and listen intently.

Here are a couple of examples of what you can ask:

"You're essentially saying..."
"It sounds like..."
"Just to be clear..."

Ultimately, loved ones feel heard when you apply emotional intelligence by taking the time to show them that you actually care about what they're saying.

Being a good listener is a valuable life skill that you can use both in and out of relationships. Therefore, ommunication improves and the connection strengthens.

appreciation

Can tech help female entrepreneurs break the bias?

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.