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Four reasons why toddlers are anarchists

August 21, 2021
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laurennolan

Toddlers. The messy, chaotic, unreasonable and adorable tiny ones that require near constant monitoring, and yet resist this level of inference with every fibre of their being. I've had a challenging week with my little toddler rebel; partly due to him being a bit poorly, but he's also testing my boundaries. And he doesn't seem to like boundaries. At all. Here's four ways in which toddlers are just like anarchists in miniature – at least, in my experience.

1 – They demand absolute freedom

Freedom is all well and good until someone gets hurt. So if my toddler wants to exercise his freedom by playing with traffic, jumping off stuff that's way too high, or drinking my wine – he's in for a battle. They want to do whatever they desire and find it incredibly frustrating when we restrict them. Especially because they often struggle to understand why we need to step in; consequences are hard to grasp for young children, and sometimes I feel a lot of sympathy for Bill when I try to explain why he can't have ice cream for dinner, or why he can't slither like a snake all the way to the park, or why climbing over our fence into the neighbour's garden isn't acceptable. Sometimes I manage to explain my reasoning and it's accepted, other times its not. And if I'm particularly frazzled I find myself saying "just because" or "because I said so". Tiny anarchists hate this – so I often sound slightly insane when I'm talking to Bill; "I know you are a snake right now but if you slither all that way we won't be there until tomorrow. Maybe you could be a snake that magically grew legs?!" Toddlers love small freedoms that we can allow them; like picking what to wear, although their choices aren't always appropriate for the weather or occasion. A pink fluffy onesie on a rainy puddle walk? A Thor costume for a Christening? Your freedom to wear what you like ends when it starts being batshit crazy.

2 – They love chaos

Toddlers may enjoy organising blocks or arranging their teddies but overall I'd say they actively engage in chaos magic (Wandavision reference, sorry). They revel in it. Put a pot of paint in Bill's grasp and he'll put his hands in it. Leave a full box of Cheerios on the breakfast table and they might end up decorating my floor. They like to smash, splash, crush and destroy – but also create. And a lot of the chaos I end up mopping up isn't naughtiness – it's their way of exploring the world and the forces that control it.

3 – They don't like to be controlled

Bill often resists holding my hand these days. That little surrender of freedom is a big deal to him; and although this is fine (if a little hurtful at times) he really does need to hold my hand sometimes. Such as when we are crossing the road, or when we're negotiating our way through a crowd. He riles against it with the passion of a hardened revolutionary – how dare I try to seize control of his hand, authoritarian witch that I am. There some non-negotiable subjects that have to be carefully controlled; when it comes to safety, for example, or being kind to others. But sometimes a choice, or the illusion of choice, can be everything to them. I like to frame choices for him so he's able to choose for himself safely, "do you want to hold my hand, or Auntie Lottie's?" "Would you like Mama or Dada to tuck you in tonight?" It's clear he's holding someone's hand, and he's going to bed – but he gets some semblance of control. This doesn't always work though, sometimes he realises I'm attempting to Jedi mind trick him into submission. But it often does help to give him choices within limits.

4 – They are natural rebels

If Bill gets his hands on a pack of apples he would take a single bite out of each one and put them back. If that isn't a 'fuck you' to society and social norms, I don't know what is. Although he responds well to routine and accepts some rules happily, there's always a few they inevitably rebel against. Bill has always hated naps; I think he feels a fear of missing out, and so trying to put him in his tiny cot jail and asking him to power down for an hour or two was completely unacceptable. This was a battle I lost; he dropped his naps pretty young. As long as he goes to sleep at bedtime I was happy to accept defeat in that particular power struggle. Toddlers also love to question things which is kind of great in a way; we shouldn't discourage curiosity and questioning things is healthy. But it can be exhausting for us.

Constant power struggles can be draining and frustrating, for both parent and toddler. It gets easier. Slowly. Bill is starting to shed his anarchist ways little by little; he's potty trained, he follows (some) rules, and he even gets quite irate about other kids breaking rules in the park ("not UP the slide, DOWN the slide!") Maybe we should lament the fact that all children start to conform. Maybe we can learn something from their rebellious spirit. Maybe not. I'm too tired to be insightful. But although toddler revolutionaries can be exhausting, they're certainly never dull.

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Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.