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The 7 surprising perks of having kids

October 21, 2021

Photo courtesy of Lauren Nolan

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Being a parent can be rough.

This week alone, I've faced homework deadlines, a sickness bug, multiple tantrums, a nasty smash on the head (their head, not mine). I've been yelled at for breaking character when I was supposed to be Wolverine, and I've read The Gruffalo about a thousand times (feels like).

A mum found some wine, and the wine was good. I do tend to be a bit negative when writing about motherhood, mainly because ranting about parenting challenges is cathartic. However, I do love the little rascals, and they also bring along a few perks that I wasn't expecting; the fact that I love them is a given.

Here are seven unexpected perks of being a parent.

1. You always have a good excuse to get out of things

Including, but not limited to, social engagements that you really don't fancy. The mere existence of your kids means that you always have a ready-made excuse to get out of something if you suddenly realise you'd rather stay home in your pyjamas and watch Netflix.

Beware, though; it works both ways. If you're looking forward to something, you can guarantee a sickness bug, ear infection, or unreliable babysitter will scupper those big plans.

2. You always have a supply of chicken nuggets

Not just chicken nuggets, but those potato smilers that are so awesome, quavers, and milky bars. Actually, a lot of children's food is pretty great, and that's why dieting is so hard for me.

3. Cuddles on tap

Recently Frank, having turned the wise old age of five, announced he'd "outgrown" hugs, but thankfully that turned out to be short-lived. And that is also why we made a spare kid who is just as cuddly as ever. If you need a cuddle, they're always about, and if you're thinking,"but a dog could do that and not use a cuddle as a bargaining tool to get time on the Nintendo Switch," then you'd be correct. Damn, we should have got a puppy.

4. You get to revisit childhood movie classics, and it's like watching them for the first time again

I love watching movies with the boys, especially ones I loved as a kid. Notable examples include Star Wars, Hook, and Home Alone. Although Home Alone backfired a bit, as Frank loved it so much, he insisted that we call him "Kevin" for weeks and weeks, and he still believes that a human being could be hit on the head with bricks thrown from a great height or electrocuted to the point of becoming a skeleton, and walk away shaken but alive.

There have been times when I've been really excited to share a movie, and they've not responded with the same enthusiasm as I'd hoped. Or weird reactions. I once watched Never Ending Story with Frank, and in the scene where the kid's horse dies in the bog, a scene I remember as deeply upsetting, he actually laughed. Brutal.

I also can't seem to get them interested in 90s Disney. But that's OK, as long as I get to watch Star Wars again. It's also really cool to share music that you love with them, and even more awesome if they get super into it. Frank is now a huge Bowie fan, and Bill goes crazy when I put on The Ramones. I kind of love that.

5. Endless source of comedy

Being a parent is challenging in lots of ways. Some I expected (lack of sleep) and some I did not – like attempting to teach your four-year-old phonics because you're forced to stay home during a pandemic. But despite these challenges, they make me laugh every single day. Kids are hilarious; a marvelous mix of unashamed honesty, adorable mistakes, and physical comedy (they fall over a lot, and sometimes it's pretty damn funny).

They uniquely see the world. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's touching, and it often makes me see the world a bit differently, too. It's also pretty funny when they get well-used phrases wrong, and I know I should correct them – but I don't. My favourites are "telling porcupines" (telling porkie pies) and "spoilt rat".

Frank called his brother a "spoilt rat" in a row about sharing a toy, and instead of reprimanding him for being mean, I was far too busy laughing about the whole thing, much to their indignation. I knew kids were hard work, but I didn't know how funny they were.

6. You care less about what people think of you

I've always cared deeply about what others thought of me, to a fault. Having kids makes you care less about that for two main reasons.

Firstly, you're too knackered to summon the energy to worry about what people think. Yes, my hair needs a wash, and I'm wearing odd socks in the soft play, but I really don't care because I've had interrupted sleep, and this mediocre coffee is barely touching the sides.

And secondly, it's hard to care about what everyone thinks when there is a small person or persons who think you're pretty awesome, and that makes everyone else's opinions seem a bit less important. Although Frank did once say he wanted to "swap" me for another "kinder" mum. In his defence, I'd just told him he couldn't have a second ice cream.

7. You get to be a kid again

Having kids means you have an excuse to embrace your inner child; get on that bouncy castle, pretend to be a superhero, be silly, go down slides, run around at the fair. Christmas becomes magical again; as an adult before kids, Christmas became mainly about food, drinking, and buying stuff.

But once the kids arrived, we started rekindling traditions like leaving out a mince pie and carrot for Father Christmas or sending letters to the North Pole. For me, it was a chance to recreate some of my fondest childhood memories whilst building new ones for the boys.

Of course, no parent can be a kid again fully; someone has to remember to pack lunch, someone has to call bedtime, and someone has to do the washing. But there are many opportunities to embrace your inner child and escape being a grown-up for a while.

Of all these perks, I'd say my favourite is the chicken nugget supply, closely followed by the comedy value my little terrors bring into my life. I didn't become a mum to laugh at them all day and eat nuggets, but it's a lovely bonus.

Regardless, I'll take all the perks I'm given.

parenting

Can tech help female entrepreneurs break the bias?

Women founders continue to come up against common challenges and biases

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

Written by Kelly Devine, Division President UK & Ireland, Mastercard

Starting a business may have historically been perceived as a man’s game, but this couldn’t be further from reality. Research shows women are actually more likely than men to actively choose to start their own business – often motivated by the desire to be their own boss or to have a better work-life balance and spend more time with their family.

The recently published Mastercard Index of Women Entrepreneurship 2021 found that in the category of 'Aspiration Driven Entrepreneurship’ – capturing those who actively choose to start their own business – women in the UK surpass men: 60% vs 56%. And Mastercard research from February 2022 found 10% of female business owners started their business in the past two years compared to 6% of men – meaning women were 67% more likely to have started a business during the pandemic.

Yet, there are common challenges that women founders continue to come up against - not least the gender imbalance in the household and long-held biases which are still prevalent.

In the UK, women are almost three times more likely to be balancing care and home commitments than men, and this was exacerbated during the pandemic as the additional barriers of school closures and lockdowns meant that the care time of dependents rose significantly on a day-to-day level for women. In addition, women were less likely to have access to a home office, greatly impacting the work they were able to accomplish when working from home was the only option.

It's also widely known that female business owners are still more likely to struggle to access funding for their business ideas. According to Dealroom, all-women founding teams received just 1.4% of the €23.7bn invested into UK start-ups in 2021, while all-male leadership teams have taken almost 90% of the available capital.

Without financial support, and when juggling significant time pressures both at home and at work, how can women grow their companies and #BreaktheBias (as this year’s International Women’s Day termed it)? What tools or support can save them time and money, and give them the headspace they need to focus on building their business?

With female owned businesses collectively estimating revenue growth of £120 billion over the next five years, solving this problem is bigger than supporting women – it’s about supporting the national economy.

Using tech to level the playing field

There are clearly societal issues at play that need to be resolved. But when we look at the rise in technology businesses during the pandemic, we can plainly see an alternative source of support critical for business growth: digital tools.

A third of female business owners say new technologies will be crucial to the success of their business in the future and one in five say it is the most important thing for business growth.

With new technology comes new ways to pay, create, and work. And yet there are barriers that prevent business owners accessing this technology. Women are significantly more likely to say they want to use more digital tools but don’t know what is best for their business and also more concerned about the security of digital tools.

When technology is adopted by businesses – whether using online accounting solutions or messenger services for communicating with staff – it saves them time, allows them to maintain and grow their customer base, and ultimately increases cost savings and profit.

By drastically improving the training and support that is available to women-owned business to access and utilise technology we will allow these businesses to grow and succeed. And we know there is demand for it.

Research done by the IFC and Dalberg shows that female entrepreneurs are more likely to invest time and money in business development. This includes product development, customer base expansion, and digital tools and training and there are plenty of services available offering this type of support – many of them for free.

One such programme is Strive UK – an initiative of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth – which aims to reach 650,000 micro and small business owners across the UK and empower them with the tools they need to thrive in the digital economy through free guidance, helpful tools and one-to-one mentoring.

Working together with small business experts – Enterprise Nation, Be the Business and Digital Boost – we hope to ensure hundreds of thousands of UK female business owners have the tools they need to succeed and reach their ambitious goals. Because this ambition remains strong in the UK, with female business owners largely optimistic about the future despite the multitude of challenges they are facing. Four in ten say they will grow their business in the next five years – compared to only a third of male business owners – and they’re also 35% less likely than men to say they plan to downsize or close the business.

But if we do not empower female entrepreneurs to access the tools and technology they need to grow, there is a risk this optimism could be misplaced. Support programmes that provide business owners with guidance and mentorship can help ensure this isn’t the case, allowing female entrepreneurs to not only survive but thrive in the months and years ahead.